fuzzypuzzle

Ridley Scott Signs on to Direct Shitty Movie For Boatloads of Cash

Do not pass GO, do collect millions you cheap frickin' whore. Ridley Scott, the visionary director of classic films Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator has lowered himself to directing movies based on Hasbro board games. From the Hollywood Reporter:

"Monopoly" marks the latest Hasbro property to look to pass go and head to the big screen. Board games and branded properties have become more attractive as studios look to mitigate risk by finding built-in audiences.

Universal is working with Hasbro on several projects as part of a long-term development deal. Platinum Dunes is producing its feature adaptation of "Ouija Board," while the maritime classic "Battleship" is also in development. Elsewhere at Hasbro, Paramount this summer is set to release Stephen Sommers' feature based on its "G.I. Joe" character. And "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays" is now airing as a syndicated television program.

Because Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Kobe Bryant and Michael Phelps Need MORE Money

OMG! They're all together just hanging out in their underwear and matching pink shirts (?!) They look like they're having so much fun! This is so f-ing cool! I'm gonna run out and buy it right now! (Door closes -- footsteps out in the driveway -- car starting up and driving away -- gun shot in the distance)

Quentin Tarantino Might Not Be Such a Genius After All

He produced this piece of tripe.

Fox Wants To Help You Understand Your Faith ... No Seriously

LOS ANGELES, Dec 04, 2007 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Fox Entertainment Group (FEG) today announced its acquisition of Beliefnet, a Web site that enables consumers to better understand their faith and build diverse spiritual communities by providing content and tools for a broad range of religions and spiritual approaches. Beliefnet, the largest online faith and spirituality destination, will become part of Fox Digital Media, spearheaded by President Dan Fawcett, which takes on an expanded role to support FEG's vast cable, TV and film brands online, and drive FEG's continued growth in the online market.

Irresponsible Volkswagen Ad Campign

"A signature is practically all you need to get any 2008 Volkswagen"

Considering the current state of the economy, the credit crisis, the housing crisis and the ongoing war in Iraq; it seems reprehensible to utilize irresponsible baiting tactics like this in advertising. I'm really beginning to suspect that advertising might be a bad influence on American culture ... despite the long history of wonderful things it's provided us with. 

The Blackwater USA Logo

Crosshairs and a fucking badgers paw? Yeah, let's send THESE guys in to help out in Iraq. Because any company with a logo that looks like it belongs on a high school football jersey is probably VERY professional.

Seriously, is this a joke? I would think that if your business plan is comprised of "gettin' some guns and callin' some dudes you partied with back in your Navy Seal days" ... you might want to consider toning down your logo a little. Calling your cousin Darren who "drawers real good pitchers" isn't the best direction to go when developing a corporate identity.

You know your audience though. I can just picture G-Dub now ... "Cheney, check this out! That's a cool logo. You guys got baseball caps with that on it?"

Belichick Got Off Easy

So we're only one week into the season and the Patriots have already garnered a new "first ever"  title ... This is the first time in league history a coach and franchise have been disciplined for spying on opponents.

The National Football League fined Pats Coach Bill Belichick $500,000 yesterday, and the team will forfeit its first-round draft pick in 2008 if it makes the playoffs, for violating league rules Sunday when a Patriots staff member was discovered videotaping signals by Jets coaches during the season opener at the Meadowlands.

The Patriots will be fined $250,000. If they fail to make the playoffs, they will forfeit their second- and third-round picks in 2008.

In sharp contrast to the fairly moderate fine imposed on the Pats, Formula One has leveled a $100 million dollar fine against McLaren Mercedes, the leading team in the Formula One championship, for using leaked secret data from its main rival Ferrari. McLaren was also excluded from participating the constructor’s title.

The Floodgates Have Officially Opened

Per my prediction, every disgruntled player that the Pats have ever smashed, smoked, beaten or bitch slapped (Strahan, Tomlinson, Ward, the list is growing by the minute ...) is coming out of the woodwork to point fingers and throw stones about the Pats alleged cheating. Even the Packers (?!) who were woefully mismatched (w/o Favre) in their 35-0 trouncing last year, are crying about their loss.

Let's try to keep things in perspective people. I could probably pull together a team of stay-at-home dads and give the 2006 Packers a run for their money. You want to comment about cheating in the League, fine, but please don't cry about getting beat; it's distasteful (and lame.) Take a cue from Mangini, the guys a professional.

Milton Glaser Takes Glens Falls For Twenty Five Large, Changes Name To Mack-G

Hey we all love Uncle Milty right? Who doesn't, the man's a certifiable graphic genius. A legend in his field. "I heart NY"... c'mon that's some goddamned good graphic design right there! However, when the taxpaying townsfolk of Glens Falls New York (tagline: Hometown USA) discovered that they had paid Glaser 25k for a new logo they were apparently pretty pissed off. In his defense Glaser clarified that it was only $10,000 for the logo and $15,000 for a lovely commemorative poster. (That better be one hell of a poster!) Maybe he can do a "I heart $" logo? So what does 25k get you, you ask? Peep it after the jump, yo!

Editor's Note: to the residents of Glenn Falls. If you want the absolute very best, be prepared to pay for it. However, I can heartily recommend a nice little design firm that would've taken on that project for half that price. via UnBeige

Mark Ryden vs, Marion Peck - WTF?!