fuzzypuzzle

We Live In Public — Cautionary Tale of a Douchebag

We Live In Public TRAILER from We Live in Public on Vimeo.

This Movie Is Actually Getting Made

In "Passion Plays", Mickey Rourke is a down-on-his-heels trumpet player, and Megan Fox is an angel in 1950s Los Angeles, with Rourke finding redemption in Fox after he attempts to save her from a gangster.

Rachel Maddow PWNS AIG and Their Evil PR Hacks

Rachel Maddow sheds some additional light on the financial insanity that is the AIG bailout. Apparently, they're using your 173 billion on (drum roll) Public Relations.

Kirk Cameron's Fireproof Now Available on DVD – Fuck Yeah!

Kirk Cameron’s Fireproof is about God and saving your marriage and finding religion and not saying "bitch" apparently (?) It was an enormous success ($34 million gross on a $500k budget.) Where'd rednecks get that kind of money?!

This is a highlight reel from the recently released DVD ... let me repeat, this is NOT a gag reel. These are actual scenes that were included in the film. Based on these clips I'd say the plot also focuses on a profound hatred of computers, recycling and naturalistic dialog. I've watched it three times already. It's really THAT good. Swiped over at FilmDrunk.

Britain and France Crash 25% of Their Nuclear Submarines Into One Another

They only have four nuclear submarines each. So how the F do they manage to crash them into each other? Who's the Admiral over there, Benny Hill?

From the NY Times.

LONDON — Two nuclear submarines, one French and the other British, collided in mid-Atlantic earlier this month, reports in the British and French news media said on Monday, quoting sources in the two defense ministries.

Britain and France each have four missile-carrying nuclear submarines, constituting the core of their nuclear arsenals. According to military journals, Le Triomphant carries 16 ballistic missiles with a range of 5,000 miles, each with six warheads. H.M.S. Vanguard is a Trident-class submarine, 492 feet long and weighing 16,000 tons. It, too, carries 16 missiles, each with three nuclear warheads.

Burton + Boobs = Burlington Blow Up

How's that for creative alliteration! Full article at Boston.com, excerpted here.

Burton's new line of "Love" Snowboards featuring retro images of Playboy bunnies has found itself at the center of a growing controversy in the lame, err .... pseudo liberal state of Vermont.  

The Burlington City Council discussed asking Burton to withdraw the boards, and the Girl Scout Council of Vermont is considering taking concerns to lawmakers next month.

The outcry hasn't made a dent in sales of the new lines, Burton cofounder Jake Carpenter told the Burlington newspaper Seven Days in November. The Playboy line and a second line called Primo, which depicts mutilated hands, have "completely oversold by virtue of this exposure," he said.

Mark Redmond, the head of nonprofit, Spectrum Youth & Family Services, said he pulled his enrollment from a Burton program that donates snowboards to needy children after learning about the Playboy line because objectification of women increases the chance men will become abusive, he said.

Fuzzy Logic:

Yeah, refusing free charitable donations from the states largest employer, that'll teach 'em Mark!

Seriously, everybody just take a deep breath and have another cup of herbal tea. The concept of using Playboy bunnies on snowboards qualifies as edgy and counterculture ... but the design execution, utilizing tasteful cropping, is actually pretty tame. By the time you pop the bindings on these boards, everything's pretty much covered up anyway. We've all got bums people! (and most of them aren't this nice)

When reached for comment Jake Burton had the following to say. "Fuck you bitches. I own this state."

NY Times & Rich White Folk Are Out of Touch & Completely Insane

This is not an episode of South Park, this is real. From today's NY Times. This is SERIOUSLY how the article opens, verbatim: 

For an avid runner, perhaps a synthetic running shirt would be a welcome gift. Maybe a heart-rate monitor, or an iPod. But for a truly one-of-a-kind gift, nothing could beat what Michael Chambers received for his 40th birthday on Thursday: a world-class runner from Kenya for a day.

Chambers received the gift from his parents and his wife, Tina, who gave him a parting kiss before he departed with Kiplagat.

All I can say is that this the best opening paragraph I've read in the NY Times in a very long time, here it is again for your enjoyment

... perhaps a synthetic running shirt, a heart-rate monitor, or an iPod. But for a truly one-of-a-kind gift, nothing could beat what Michael Chambers received for his 40th birthday on Thursday: a Kenyan!

Ridley Scott Signs on to Direct Shitty Movie For Boatloads of Cash

Do not pass GO, do collect millions you cheap frickin' whore. Ridley Scott, the visionary director of classic films Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator has lowered himself to directing movies based on Hasbro board games. From the Hollywood Reporter:

"Monopoly" marks the latest Hasbro property to look to pass go and head to the big screen. Board games and branded properties have become more attractive as studios look to mitigate risk by finding built-in audiences.

Universal is working with Hasbro on several projects as part of a long-term development deal. Platinum Dunes is producing its feature adaptation of "Ouija Board," while the maritime classic "Battleship" is also in development. Elsewhere at Hasbro, Paramount this summer is set to release Stephen Sommers' feature based on its "G.I. Joe" character. And "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays" is now airing as a syndicated television program.

Because Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Kobe Bryant and Michael Phelps Need MORE Money

OMG! They're all together just hanging out in their underwear and matching pink shirts (?!) They look like they're having so much fun! This is so f-ing cool! I'm gonna run out and buy it right now! (Door closes -- footsteps out in the driveway -- car starting up and driving away -- gun shot in the distance)

Quentin Tarantino Might Not Be Such a Genius After All

He produced this piece of tripe.