fuzzypuzzle

This Makes Me Like Tony Danza Even More Than I Already Did (You know, From When He Was On Taxi)

Spelling Fail

Swiped at the always awesome FAILblog.

Financial Advisor Fakes Plane Crash, Parachutes Into Infamy

From today's Times. (This guy sounds so awesome ... I bet he gets his own reality show.)

MIAMI — A financial adviser from Indiana disappeared into the Alabama woods early Monday after faking a distress call and parachuting from a small plane that crashed in Florida.

The police in three states were looking for the pilot, identified as Marcus Schrenker, 38.

No one was hurt in the crash. According to the police in Santa Rosa County in the Florida Panhandle, where the plane went down, Mr. Schrenker turned up safely about 220 miles north of there. And there is evidence that Mr. Schrenker was an experienced pilot who might have been trying to fake his own death.

His life seemed to be unraveling. Court records show that Mr. Schrenker’s wife filed for divorce on Dec. 30. A Maryland court recently issued a judgment of more than $500,000 against one of three Indiana companies registered in his name — and all three are being investigated for securities fraud by the Indiana Secretary of State’s Office, a spokesman, Jim Gavin, said.

Mr. Schrenker has at least a decade of experience as a pilot, according to the airport in Anderson, Ind., where he departed Sunday evening. But the police said that within hours of taking off, he issued a distress call.

He told air traffic controllers that he was bleeding profusely and that the windshield of his Piper PA-46 turboprop had imploded. The control tower told him to try to land nearby, but instead he “appears to have intentionally abandoned the plane after putting it on autopilot over the Birmingham, Ala., area,” the police in Santa Rosa County said.

He next appeared in Childersburg, Ala., about 30 miles to the southeast, when he approached local officers at a store and said he had been in a canoeing accident. He was wet from the knees down and carried what the police described as “goggles that looked like they were made for ‘flying.’ ”

After checking his Indiana license, the officers drove Mr. Schrenker to a hotel. After learning of the abandoned plane, they returned, but his room was empty.

Witnesses said a man believed to be Mr. Schrenker wearing a black toboggan cap had run into the woods next to the hotel.

He has not been seen since. The telephones at Mr. Schrenker’s home and one of his companies, Heritage Wealth Management, have been disconnected.

His piloting skills, however, can be seen in a YouTube video in which he flies under bridges in the Bahamas. “This stunt,” it says, “should not be tried by any pilot that wishes to stay alive.”

Best Viral Videos of 2008 From VideoGum

I dunno, I never saw any of this shit, but the Bert & Ernie thing was funny, the Beyonce shit is disturbing, the Homie's fridge shit is awesome, the Jug Band Rap is clever, and true to his name, Bill O'Reilly is a fuckin' douche. Enjoy.

Introducing Wolfboy – Actual NY Post Cover Story

Ridley Scott Signs on to Direct Shitty Movie For Boatloads of Cash

Do not pass GO, do collect millions you cheap frickin' whore. Ridley Scott, the visionary director of classic films Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator has lowered himself to directing movies based on Hasbro board games. From the Hollywood Reporter:

"Monopoly" marks the latest Hasbro property to look to pass go and head to the big screen. Board games and branded properties have become more attractive as studios look to mitigate risk by finding built-in audiences.

Universal is working with Hasbro on several projects as part of a long-term development deal. Platinum Dunes is producing its feature adaptation of "Ouija Board," while the maritime classic "Battleship" is also in development. Elsewhere at Hasbro, Paramount this summer is set to release Stephen Sommers' feature based on its "G.I. Joe" character. And "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays" is now airing as a syndicated television program.

New Pepsi Logo (Ahem, Brand) Pricetag, Several Hundred Million?!

Hey, I don't want to sh%t where I eat, but several hundred million seems a little steep even to me. Kudos to the Arnell group for landing the con job (Ahem) account. They undoubtedly have a very big thesaurus that has lot's of variations for words like "movement", "action" and "heritage".  In their defense, they did make this cute video about the process of redrawing the Pepsi stripe (originally swiped from Coca Cola) and choosing a more contemporary typeface. Read more about conning hapless corporations with bullshit design speak over at Gawker.

Because Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Kobe Bryant and Michael Phelps Need MORE Money

OMG! They're all together just hanging out in their underwear and matching pink shirts (?!) They look like they're having so much fun! This is so f-ing cool! I'm gonna run out and buy it right now! (Door closes -- footsteps out in the driveway -- car starting up and driving away -- gun shot in the distance)

I Think I Found a Sitter!

Swiped over at boingboing

Urban Sprawl FAIL

More Monday morning goodness from the always entertaining FAILblog.