Ridley Scott Signs on to Direct Shitty Movie For Boatloads of Cash

Do not pass GO, do collect millions you cheap frickin' whore. Ridley Scott, the visionary director of classic films Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator has lowered himself to directing movies based on Hasbro board games. From the Hollywood Reporter:

"Monopoly" marks the latest Hasbro property to look to pass go and head to the big screen. Board games and branded properties have become more attractive as studios look to mitigate risk by finding built-in audiences.

Universal is working with Hasbro on several projects as part of a long-term development deal. Platinum Dunes is producing its feature adaptation of "Ouija Board," while the maritime classic "Battleship" is also in development. Elsewhere at Hasbro, Paramount this summer is set to release Stephen Sommers' feature based on its "G.I. Joe" character. And "Trivial Pursuit: America Plays" is now airing as a syndicated television program.

Dirty Harry Still Kicking Ass At Seventy Frickin' Eight

Keith Loutit's Tilt Shift Films


Beached from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Quarantine. That Shaking Might Not Be the Camera!

Remake issue aside (we all bow down before the originality and brilliant execution of Spanish director Jaume Balagueró's [REC]) Quarantine is not so much a movie as it is a fun, scary, jarring shaky-cam ride through a haunted house infested with virus-ridden, zombie scares. 

The clever premise of Quarantine accounts for the handheld single camera perspective of the film. Television reporter Angela Vidal (Jennifer Carpenter) and her cameraman (Steve Harris) are assigned to "shadow" members of the Los Angeles Fire Dept. After a routine 911 call takes them to a small apartment building, they find police officers already on the scene in response to blood curdling screams coming from one of the apartment units. They learn that a woman living in the building has contracted some type of rare infectious disease. When several other residents are viciously attacked, the group tries to flee with the news crew in tow, only to find that the CDC has quarantined the building.

Folks who take issue with nausea-inducing shaky cam film work will have a big problem with Quarantine, although this sort of begs the question, "Uh, what did you expect when you bought your ticket?" The camera work is a seamless part of the story, and is also the perfect cinematic device for inducing anxiety and fear in the minds of the theater audience. Because the single camera P.O.V. is so intimate (you're essentially looking over the cameraman's shoulder) you really feel like you're trapped inside the apartment building with the residents.

Beyond the creepy camerawork, Jennifer Carpenter's portrayal of junior reporter Andrea Vidal is wonderfully nuanced. This should also be credited to the script, but Carpenter really nails it. Her emotional journey from sassy playfulness at the firehouse -- to her determination to get her story -- to her terrifying descent into blind terror is thoroughly believable and really helps move the film along.

Finally, it's the unfolding sub-plot about a doomsday virus that really makes the film 110% fun. The filmmakers have created a "Where's Waldo?" type game for theatergoers, where they reveal clues about the origins of the spreading virus. Sometimes it's a little gem of casual dialogue mentioned in passing, and sometimes it's a fleeting glimpse of a rat scurrying through a heating duct or a yellowing newspaper clipping. It's fun (and very satisfying) to sit back in your chair and try to catch all the dropped bread crumbs that the script provides.

My only two complaints about the movie (and they're minor) would be A.)  the occasional stupid-beyond-belief behavior exhibited by certain characters. I won't go into spoiler specifics, but a general rule as dictated by logic would assert that if someone has just bitten off a person's face, you should NOT approach them with an extended hand. And B.) someone needs to apologize for the trailer. I don't know whether it was a studio decision, a marketing knucklehead or a shit-for-brains trailer editor, but the trailer gives away too much of the film. It's a real shame.

Quarantine is a clever, scary little flick that delivers chills and thrills the same way a jarring ride through a dark haunted house would. I only wish more horror films were this fun and well conceived.

Why C-Span is the Best Place to Watch the Debates

Swiped over at boingboiing
The best choice for watching a presidential or vice-presidential debate is C-SPAN. Why? C-SPAN's continuous split-screen lets you see both participants at all times, allowing for all sorts of observations about body language and facial expression.

The Life & Times of Tim

This new HBO show looks pretty funny. I'd wager (based on the wacky animation style) that it's by the same folks that used to do Dr. Katz.


Waltz Avec Bashir Looks Pretty Intense

Jean-Claude Van Damme Playing Jean-Claude Vanne Damme

This is an inspired, post modern idea – a washed up action star portraying himself, unironically as a washed up action star. This film generated a great buzz at Cannes  ... seriously, I'm not even kidding.

Bunker 77 – Bunker Spreckels Doc

Showtime Advertising = Derrivative and Possibly Retarded

Can we all agree that Showtime is widely regarded as HBO's less talented little brother? So you'd think they'd want to step up and distinguish themselves with clever advertising campaigns promoting their two Emmy nominated shows Weeds and Dexter.

So this is what they came up with. As far as I can tell "concept" one is : Showtime = Pin Up Girls. Huh?!
And "concept" two : Dexter is on Magazines. WTF?! I dunno, is it me? It's them, right?

Showtime

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