I generally think Twitter is for Entourage-loving douche bags, but this is really great. I hope this Justin kid goes on Letterman with his dad. Somebody should give this guy a book deal ASAP.
I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says. — Justin
"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."
"Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot."
"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
"Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"
"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."
(left on answering machine) "Hello? Hello? It's Sam. Anyone there? Nobody checks this god damned thing. HELLO?! HELLO?! Screw it."
You know, I almost sent you this link this week. (Remind you of anyone we know?)
Posted by: Alexis | August 28, 2009 at 10:35 AM